Finding Katie Marie

On Saturday we went to see the beautiful Christmas lights. We haven’t gone in years and I was in total awe. It was so incredible I actually went back last night with a friend. The holidays can be very hard on me but I’m trying to make the most of them! Here’s to a Merry Christmas Season!

Today I made Thanksgiving for our little family for the first time. I am very proud of this accomplishment. It actually felt really good.  It was a very simple meal but it was a lot of fun preparing it and enjoying it with my husband. I am so blessed and Thankful to be a part of our little family of four (my husband and our two tuxedo cats)

Jeff and I have been together as a couple for about 8 wonderful years. Where I thought my life had ended (or needed to end) this guy helped  me realize that I could lay the bad to rest and that love was the answer. We have been officially "married" for almost two and a half years now! With many more years ahead!  Jeff & Katie Established July 25, 2015. Take my hand Take my whole life too For I can't help falling in love with you. 

I wrote this many years back, and wanted to share. *Miss You*   I sit alone by his grave My heart begins to cave My eyes fill with tears I wish he was still here He had so much to give Why couldn't he live? I'm as dark as night No smiles, no delight In my heart, it's full of rain I wish it'd wash away the pain My poor weary heart Is being ripped apart All the pain in the past Will not surely last? Will someone take my hand And lead me through the sand Make my head- a swirling top Slow down, then stop Will you help me off the floor And so much more? Will you be my friend? Help me to the end? So I can again breathe And not be forced to heave If I hold ona little longer God will make me stronger If I make God my goal He'll change my sou He'll change my mind Give me happiness to find He is someone I met That I will never regret In Memory Of William "Bill" L. Baun Born ...

I’ve made many mistakes in my life. I’ve been a horrible friend, said and did many things I wish I could take back. To those I have hurt and lost a long the way, this letter is for you. I wish I could take back the angry words I said to you over and over again because I was hurting. I wish I could take back how I betrayed you when you needed me most. You will never know how much I beat myself up over it. You deserved a much better friend than you got in me. I just wish you were able to see the person I am today. How I’m really not the same person. I know, it really seemed like (and still does) that I was just an attention seeker. And, I know, on some level I really was. I was searching for love and affection that I never got anywhere else. And it will always be a life-long battle. I wish you could see the person I am today. How I am an advocate for abuse survivors and mental health fighters.  If you could see who I am almost 10 years later, I think you would be surprised. Losing yo...

My hopes in writing this letter is to let go of the pain, get my feelings out and burn it. Saying NO MORE to letting him have any power over me. What you did to me was WRONG WRONG WRONG! I was very, very sick. You KNEW that, yet you chose to take advantage of me anyway. You told me so many lies and I believed you. I really thought you were going to leave your wife to take care of me. I spent years hating myself for committing adultery. But, I know now that it was my illness and YOUR SICK NEED to use me to get what YOU wanted. I was a virgin, very naïve and did I mention SICK? But, you knew ALL of that! You DID every thing you could to get rid of ****, using ME to do it. You told me ANYTHING you thought would make me want you. You told me you could teach me about sex, how it was done right. You never asked if I wanted to, and me being sick and young did not even think to say yes or no. I honestly didn’t know. All you said was that “I was going to love it” and as you were taking my ...